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People lie, on average, one or two times per day. While the percentage of lies told by a person, the conditions under which we lie and the degree to which the truth gets stretched all vary, research agrees: We all do it sometimes. So it’s inevitable that, at some point, we will get caught.
Many people, however, don’t see it that way. Most of us believe that our lies actually work. But frequently there are cues, if we’re willing to see them, that indicate skeptical doubt, even outright disbelief, on the faces of those we lie to.
If you sense that spinning information, denying a mistake or exaggerating a contribution has backfired, don’t assume things will be OK after the painful silence or furrowed eyebrows subside. Your reputation is now in question. Here’s how you can earn back some of your credibility:
— REFLECT ON WHY YOU LIED: Dishonesty is never random. Underneath our lies are unmet needs that we believe lying might satisfy. Identifying these needs is the first step to finding healthier ways to fulfill them. Think about the last time you lied at work. Did you feel overlooked or unfairly judged by your boss? Did you fear your mistake would be more harshly criticized than warranted? My research on dishonesty, a 15-year longitudinal study on conditions that predict why people lie in organizations, reveals that some companies may be unwittingly creating circumstances that actually encourage us to lie. For example, when we feel our work is being unfairly evaluated, we are almost four times more likely to be dishonest.
— ASSESS THE CREDIBILITY DAMAGE: Pay attention to how people now respond to you. Is your opinion being solicited less? Are things you say being engaged differently than before? As you recognize signs of … Read More...